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As soon as she stood, I wheeled around behind her and slid into her seat. Now I was finally in the set, and she was lurking awkwardly on the outside. This was the science of approaching perfectly executed, like a good game of chess.[sic]

On a number of occasions, Pickup artists and gurus say that Pickup is a science. It is not. The previous paragraph comes from Style's book – The Game. Style is a pickuper that became number one Pickup guru. So, when I was asked for an opinion about his Challenge, I decided to do it as a peer review – as the corner stone of the scientific publishing process. This Challenge is a self-help book, a later work than The Game. It allegedly contains a proved, step-by-step program to improve your dating success. As read in a product description "the ultimate guide to landing the woman of your dreams from the best of the best".

My decision for the peer review stays on this ground: if people are being led into a belief that Pickup is a science by pickupers, people should be shown then, what the real science would say about Pickup. Note that I do not wish to flat the dead horse by showing the obvious. I'm just afraid that most people have no inkling what the science truly is. Particularly, how demanding it is, to do a science.

Ladies and gentlemen, sit down comfortably, the peer review begins...

Objective

Style's challenge (i.e. your objective) is to get a date in thirty days or less.

First of all, nobody is promised that this book will get him a date. Thus, there are two possible endings. (1) If you don't get a date, it is not Style's fault – you were not promised the date. (2) If you get a date, you credit Style. There is no way a Style could loose, because he did not promise any date. Notice as he just said that's your objective, but made no promise.

So, how does it compare to the following, Ian Rowland's writing on Cold Reading?

In this way, the psychic can defuse all possible skeptical challenges. She is effectively writing her own contract to suit herself. She cannot fail to deliver on her promises, because she has been careful not to make any. Nor has she made any promises on behalf of her particular discipline. She has not said it will reveal truths, solve problems or prove anything at all.

What transparent measures Style took to avoid such scenario? How does it come that Style himself warns us against Cold Reading, while saying that some psychics are trustworthy and some are not (page 104)? Also, on page 108, he tells us to never use Cold Reading in a callous, manipulative way.

Next issue goes with the term date. On page 6, Styles says that "A date is defined as a planned second encounter with a woman you have just met" [sic]. OK, so I went to a brand new greengrocery to buy an apple. But the salesgirl told me that all apples are already sold out for today, but there will be new ones, tomorrow. I know – it is a silly example. But take a look, as it fits Style's definition of date. It fits perfectly. Alternatively, a professionally smiling bartender could be another false positive. Or, a friend might wish to see you again, but have no interest to date you. And Style omits this fact. His so-called definition is vague, and therefore it does not hold up to scientific standards. As a further reading, see Forer effect.

Prize

The company of quality women, the envy of your peers, the lifestyle you deserve.

What woman is quality one? I found no definition. Therefore, there is a problem to evaluate the promise. Style does not tell us how to know, whether we are in a company of at least one quality woman.

Next, what is company? How many? What kind of relationship? Does it go for no-sex friends, lovers, long-term relationships, or just a sexual affair? Even if we would consider a casual small-talk with a group of lost tourists, which ask for a direction to e.g. railway station, it would fit into Style's description. The prize is not given in a concrete terms. It is the same problem as with the objective. Note that using of vague terms leads to Forer effect – a psychological trick, when people find vague terms as concrete ones.

Envy of our peers and lifestyle we deserve... this is a clear appeal on our emotions to accept Style's work. How does Style make sure that he does not exploit emotional stress of lonely men? How does Style make sure that such approach does not affect reported outcome?

Procedure

The procedure comes out of a principle that a man can increase his chances of getting a date, by learning something about social interactions. While this is true, it is nothing new.

Human has the ability to learn from an interaction with other humans. Maneuver a man into a position, when he would interact and he will learn something to increase his chances of achieving his goals.

Basically, Style tries to convince his reader that he will succeed, because Style tells him some working principles. As given on page 3: It's simply what works best and fastest. I do not agree with Style for several reasons:

1. Style propagates Pickup, which includes several dating myths – i.e. assumptions, which do not hold. Moreover, Pickup originated on the pseudoscientific concept of Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Style recommends NLP on page 60, law 6.


2. On page 11, Style discussed a so-called limiting belief "I'm not good-looking, rich, or famous enough to be with a beautiful woman." Since Style does not claim that this book will make anybody (except Style, perhaps?) rich and famous, we end up with the question of a good look. Starting with page 26, there are missions for days 4 and 5. These missions are targeted on look improvements – not limited to hairs, clothes and accessories. Well, the tailor makes the man. But... Why does Style write this, if he claims, just 25 pages ago, that a care about one's look is a limiting belief?


3. On page 34, Styles says about the approach anxiety: Psychologically speaking, it's less a fear of approaching than a fear of rejection. While the symptoms of approach anxiety correspond with increased dopamine level, and dopamine is linked with reward and danger, it does not justify the claim given by Style. What proves the idea that fear of approach is not driven by fear of rejection? Note the difference that Style makes.


4. On page 48, Style claims this:
   
   Smile when you approach. Even if a grin does not come naturally, fake it. It predisposes the woman or group you're about to engage to respond positively. On a subconscious level, it signals that you're a friend and not an enemy.[sic]
   
   First, sincere smile contracts two muscles – zygomaticus major (mouth) and orbicular oculis (eyes). Therefore, it is easy to say when you fake the sincere smile. Therefore, there's no guarantee that the group will respond as Style says.
   
   Second, what is the subconscious level? How does it relate to current scientific understanding of brain? In academy and science, this word is not used. However, it is being used in the already mentioned pseudoscientific NLP.


5. On page 48, Style perpetuates Mystery's view on energy in the seduction process. Mystery taught Style the so-called art of Pickup. The following is not the only reference to some energy.
   
   Your energy level should be equal to or slightly higher than the woman or group you're approaching.[sic]
   
   How is this concept different from the pseudoscientific energy that is used by so many healers to produce alleged physiological effects, while producing nothing, but a placebo effect in some cases? How does Style measure the energy and in which, SI-compatible units? Supposedly, this information is not given.


6. On page 59, in second law of learning, Style claims:
   
   There is no such thing as rejection, only a feedback.
   If you posses the ability to learn from your mistakes, then failure is impossible, because each rejection brings you closer to perfection.[sic]
   
   Both statements ignore reality. An engaged, loyal woman that is in love with somebody else will reject you, no matter what you would do. More likely, a woman may reject you just because she does not find you physically attractive. In addition, the first statement redefines meaning of the word rejection to a something else.


7. On pages 60 and 61, laws 8 and 9, Style says this:
   
   Don't look to friends or family for approval.
   Be willing to test new ideas, even if they don't seem logical.[sic]
   
   Why should not I ask my own family, or friends, for an independent opinion? How does it compare to Milieu Control [144], i.e. a concept that participates in a process of brainwashing, as described by psychologists?
   
   Why should I do something that is not logical, i.e. there is no reasonable evidence that it is worth doing it? How does it compare to the concept of Open Mind, as described e.g. in [84]?


8. On page 76, Style recommends so-called Huna-way philosophy to strengthen the concept of so-called Inner Game. Not only there are objections against Pickup concept of inner-game, the Huna philosophy states, as Style writes: The world is what you think it is. In other words, he tells us to ignore reality. Thus, not to be objective.


9. On page 78, Style recommends the New-Age, pseudoscientific energy based Emotional Freedom Technique [96].


10. On page 92, Style gets to the Evolution and evolutionary biology. First, he recommends reading an excerpt on Matt Ridley's The Red Queen. A Pickup artist wrote the excerpt. Second, Style says this:
    
    Your assignment is to read the report and discover the evolutionary logic behind many of the things you've been doing this month.[sic]
    
    Looking at the previous objections to pseudoscience, which Style recommends in his book, I see no reasonable evidence that Styles understand the scientific topics himself, in the first place. Subsequently, it is reasonable to assume that a reader, who did not spot the objections, will fail to properly discover the evolution behind as well.

As I've reached 10 issues with the procedure, I stop pointing on remaining ones and continue with risks.

Risks

While Style's book contains several reasonable techniques, they have been known even long before the Pickup community was born. An unknowing reader is not told, so he can attribute them as a Pickup contribution mistakenly, and fall for Pickup mistakes subsequently.

Style propagates the Pickup community, which leads a man to belief that it is an admirable lifestyle to have sex with as many women as possible. This belief ignores sexually transmitted diseases apparently. Consider high-risk strains of human papillomavirus (HPV). Thanks to the high occurrence of HPV in the population, isn't it likely that you will end up with one of these strains, if you would follow such lifestyle successfully?

I understand that Pickup artists do not discuss their health condition. However, I see it as a fair and moral principle to let the people to know the increased risks of having many sexual partners. The HPV high-risk strains may develop into a cancer and there is no cure, just a vaccination against two (out of much many more) high-risk strains only.

On the other hand, I would not say that Pickup works so good for one to be in a grave danger, unless you pick easy girls. However, it is about probabilities and the risk is real. See references [156, 157, 158] for details.

On page 33, Style writes:

Control your caloric intake and review your diet to limit saturated fats, refined sugars, excess salt, and food high in preservatives and carbohydrates. Eat fresh fruits, vegetables, and lean protein. If you're more than forty percent over you should be, consult a doctor about weight loss options.[sic]

What leads Style to a conclusion that it is safe to alter someone's diet, when he is not over the forty percent, while Style knows nothing more about his present health condition?

Book's preface states that solely the reader is responsible for any harm that may result from using any advice from the book.

Evidence

I found none. I found only subjective stories without any scientific control over experiment variables.

References

On page 193, Style writes:

The Stylelife Challenge is the result of lessons from thousands of approaches, years of camaraderie with the master pickup artists from The Game, feedback from students around the world, hundreds of books and research papers, and the contributions of the Stylelife Academy coaching team.[sic]

Despite the hundreds of research papers, Style did not gave a single citation of a scientific research paper. Let alone to be it a correct citation from a peer-reviewed journal with an impact factor.

Instead, Style gave nicks of pickup artists – the community who acknowledged his position as a number one of pickup artists. I see a clear bias there.

Conclusion

As already noted, an ordinary man can learn from social interactions, including rejections. Subsequently, he can get a date on his own, as he learns to avoid mistakes he did. Style does not present a convincing material that an ordinary man would get a date because of Style's book. Neither methodology nor presented subjective testimonies are convincing as an objective proof.

Moreover, Style has done a number of offences against an objective publishing of facts, as science understands objectivity. This review contains only a selection of major offences.

S T R O N G    R E J E C T

This review applies to first edition from 2007.

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Jak jsem si tak brouzdal Internetem, proklikal jsem se na stránky, které opakovaně publikovaly pochvalné ohlasy na různé pseudovědecké výmysly. Pro mě není důvod se domnívat, že by v tom nemohli pokračovat i v budoucnu. Nicméně, v jednom z komentářů na daném webu padlo přesvědčení, že kdyby to (co tam publikují) byl nesmysl, tak by to neuveřejnili. Inu, pomyslel jsem si pro sebe něco o tom, kde asi tak může hraničit naivita s hloupostí, a brouzdal jsem dál, už na jiných stránkách. Prostě mi přišlo, že to nemá smysl nějak víc komentovat, neb jde, abych tak řekl, o specializovaný server s již specializovaným publikem.

O bůhví kolik IP paketů později jsem se dostal na jinou stránku. Stránku nabízející využití posledního medicínského výzkumu v léčení. To mě docela zaujalo a tak jsem četl dál. V textu používali odborné termíny, řada věcí byla správně, byl tam seznam onemocnění namísto konstatování, že jde o všelék, odvolali se vědeckou literaturu, a končilo to i seznamem použité literatury. Jenomže se mi na tom pořád něco nezdálo.

• Odborných termínů bylo skutečně hodně, až přeplácáno. Jako kdyby šlo o pretěki v dosažení jejich co největší koncentrace na co nejmenší objem textu.
• Řada věcí sice byla správně, ale tak nějak irelevantních. Anebo mi alespoň zcela unikla jejich vazba na slibované efekty. Respektive, jak jich dosáhnou – alespoň nějak v principu.
• Seznam onemocnění byl úctyhodný a dost značně nesourodý, co se příčiny uváděných onemocnění týče. Víc než jako seriózní publikace to vypadalo jako popis panacey (univerzální všelék na vše).
• Pravda, v textu se vyskytovali citace vědecké práce. Jenomže šlo pořád jen o jednu. Vzhledem k záběru danému seznamem nemocí mi to přišlo docela málo. V podstatě se odvolávali na studii o astma, které bylo podáno laikovi naprosto nesrozumitelně už jen množstvím odborných termínů, o kterých ví laik, s prominutím, prd.
• Takže se v podstatě odvolávali na cizí studii o astma a přitom na seznamu jimi vyléčitelných nemocí figuroval léčitelský evergreen – rakovina. Hm.
• Schválně jsem zkusil prohnat seznam literatury přes PubMed. Nic. Tak Google. Našel. Na stránkách mateřské firmy, kde bylo psáno, že se věnují vědeckému výzkumu. Koumají koumáci, a jak se sami tamtéž přiznali, integrativní medicínu. Na původních stránkách, tj. těch, které jsem četl jako první, bylo jen ujišťování, že jde o vědu.

První případ, tam si myslím, že by průměrnému jedinci nemělo činit většího problému pochopit vo co go. Tedy pokud už není tzv. jejich. Ale u druhého příkladu o tom pochybuji. A pochybuji, že by se nad tím průměrný člověk zamyslel ze stejného úhlu pohledu jako já. Protože kdyby ano, tak už by alternativní medicína byla dávno vyřízená jak domácí ekonomika.

Ale nezoufejte, až něco takového uvidíte, zkuste zapátrat, o jakou medicínu vlastně jde. V takových případech buď zjistíte, že jde o alternativní medicínu, nebo o tzv. integrativní medicínu.

Zjednodušeně řečeno:

• Alternativní medicína je medicína, pro kterou neexistují vědecké důkazy, že její postupy fungují lépe než placebo efekt. Alespoň co se zlepšení zdravotního stavu týče. V ne zcela nejhorším případě placebo efekt alternativní medicíny vede "jen" k zanedbávání lékařské péče, protože si časem začnete myslet, že to skutečně funguje vždy. V horším případě dojde k poškozování zdraví už přímo samotným postupem alternativní léčby. V lepším případě půjde např. o neškodný bylinkový vývar, v horším případě půjde o vývar bylinek, jejichž účinná látka překročí vaším tělem únosnou koncentraci.
• Integrativní medicína je alternativní medicína obohacená o poznatky vědecké medicíny. Takže výsledek není vědecká medicína. Např. začnete někoho léčit účinným postupem, produktem vědecké medicíny, a k tomu přidáte nějaký alternativní postup (v lepším případě nebude nic zhoršovat). Takže v nejlepším možném výsledku dostanete účinnou léčbu podpořenou pozitivní účinkem na psychiku pacienta. A až léčitelé a jejich fanklub začne jásat nad přínosem alternativní medicíny, tak nezapomeňte, čím je dán onen pozitivní účinek na psychiku pacienta. Alias, že pacient víc věří alternativní než vědecké medicíně, protože mu někdo (kdopak to asi byl?) musel nejprve naočkovat přesvědčení, že je vědecká medicína neúčinná.

Pokud se nějaký alternativní postup prokáže jako účinný ve standardu vědecké medicíny, pak je vědeckou metodou přijat jako účinný. Ale když účinný není, tak to prostě nejde. No, a tak zkusili snížit standard toho, co je považováno za vědecky prokázanou metodu. Ekonomicky vzato jde o důsledek toho, že je alternativní medicína výnosný průmysl.

Obrázek: Cobraceus

Poznámka: Integrated Medicine, Integrative Medicine, integrovaná medicína a integrativní medicína jsou jedno a to samé.

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Úvodem předesílám, že jsem si pochopitelně vědom toho, že existují i takové blogy, na kterých se propagují nesmysly a je tedy nesmyslné jim věřit. Můžete se u nich individuálně sami zamýšlet nad tím, který z astrologů takový blog píše. No, snad existuje rozumný konzensus nad tím, že takové blogy obhajovat nehodlám:)

V jednom z předchozích článků jsem se dotknul tzv. mediální hlouposti. Ale jestli se chcete dozvědět informace přímo z českého zákulisí, přečtěte si tenhle článek. A na procvičení angličtiny si můžete třeba přečíst, jak se píše pro Oprah.

Schválně si všimněte jakých tlaků je autor neziskového blogu ušetřen, a pokud tématu rozumí - pak se to musí zákonitě projevit na kvalitě jeho článků. Bohužel, ale pro podvodníka není problém, aby odmítnutí jeho tvrzení odbornou veřejností prezentoval jako snahu o potlačování svobody projevu. A klidně přitom na nás apeloval informacemi např. z odkazovaných článků.

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• Podstata problému
• Volba strategie
• Nikdo není dokonalý
• Kvalita vs. kvantita
• Pár příkladů

V posledních letech jsem na sobě začínal cítit čím dál tím větší únavu. Stres v práci, přibývající věk a čím dál tím větší podřizování se okolí. Přestávalo mi chutnat, ztrácel jsem na váze a měl problémy se spaním. Nakonec jsem skončil u psychiatra. Řekl mi, že to bude trvat pár měsíců, dal mi nějaké doporučení a předepsal prášky. Cítil jsem se jako cvok, pro kterého už neměli v blázinci místo.

Dny ubíhaly a mě se nezdálo, že by se má situace lepšila. Snažil jsem držet cvokařových rad a polykal prášky. Po nějaké době mi ale došla trpělivost a podíval jsem se na webu, jestli někdo nezápasí se stejným problémem. Začetl jsem se do východní filozofie. Objevil jsem životní energii, kterou západní medicína stále odmítá uznat. Naštěstí se už i u nás najdou lidé, kteří jí rozumí a nebojí se o ní mluvit. Byl jsem rozhodnut.

Pan Bohuslav mne přijal vlídně a profesionalita byla znát na každém jeho kroku. Nejprve jsme si pohovořili a poté mne vyšetřil. Lehl jsem si a pan Bohuslav proměřil mé energie. Uklidnil mne, že některé z nich mám jen potlačené, a že ty se dají uvolnit hned. Prášky nepomohou, je třeba zklidnit mysl a přijmout darovanou energii. Na pár míst mi přiložil ruce a já cítil, jak se mi ulevuje.

Říkejte si, co chcete, ale pan Bohuslav mi skutečně pomohl. Společně jsme aktivovali má energetická centra. Také mi vysvětlil, že i psychiatr mi během vyšetření věnoval svou energii. Odrazila se v jeho radách a je obsažena i v předepsaných prášcích.

Absolvoval jsem u pana Bohuslava ještě řadu sezení a na jeho radu jsem i dobral prášky a nevyhýbal se pokynům psychiatra. Dnes, po několika měsících, jsou mé problémy pryč. Síly mám tolik, že jsem se zapojil do dění ve svém okolí, aby to u nás také k něčemu vypadalo. Nadávat přece umí každý!

Když jste skeptici jakým jsem býval i já, nenechte si vědou nasadit klapky na oči! Zbavil jsem se svých strachů, načerpal energii a seznámil se s novými lidmi, plnými elánu a nadšení, kterým není jedno, jak to u nás vypadá. Dokonce jsem si našel i přítelkyni! Mám však pocit, že zatím jsem ochutnal jenom špičku ledovce, že vše teprve začíná.

Byl právě uvedený text jenom bohapustý výmysl, anebo skutečný příběh s placebo efektem? Vidět to třeba někde na webu jako údajné osobní svědectví, jak se k tomu postavit bez dalších informací? Nejsem tak naivní, abych nevěděl, že podezřelá dávka slušňáctví vedle proklamovaného vítězství nad vědou smrdí psychologickou manipulací. Za vědu si můžete dosadit i racionální myšlení, či ignorování prokázaných, např. ekonomických principů.

V podstatě je to na začátku fifty-fifty – správnost odhadu, jestli to hlásá podvodník, nebo spokojený klient. Lze se však nad tím hlouběji zamyslet, i bez znalosti použitých manipulačních technik. Zkuste si zahrát na Sherlocka Holmese. Vypište si holá fakta bez příkras a zakreslete si jejich vzájemné závislosti.

Všimněte si, že uvedený příklad je takový vítězně nemastný neslaný. Jako kdyby nám řekli, že jsou proti něčemu, či pro něco, ale přitom se nechtěli zavázat k něčemu opravdu konkrétnímu. Je tam otevřeno příliš mnoho možností, jak to celé interpretovat – tj. nejde o prezentování faktů, ale o ponechání si únikové cesty v případě načapání. A to je právě to chování, které bych u spokojeného klienta neočekával. Od něj bych totiž očekával více černobílejší vidění. Proto bych uvedený text nepřisoudil spokojenému klientovi. Navíc, podvodník v případě odhalení může ještě zkusit kličkovat: "no, my jsme ten původní text ještě redakčně doladili".

Uvedený příklad skutečně není dílem spokojeného klienta. Pouze jsem ho sepsal podle následující poučky: cílem není co největší autenticita, ale co největší přesvědčivost. I kdyby to mělo propagovat blbost na n-tou.

Podstata problému

Nejsnazší psychologická manipulace je přisvojovat si cizí zásluhy a s úsměvem na tváři lhát lidem přímo do očí. Respektive psát lži, rádobynaučná vysvětlení a zavádějící polopravdy slušně, budeme-li se bavit například o Internetu. Občas jasně vidíte, jak vám lžou, protože vidíte odpovídající logické nesrovnalosti, případně i znáte fakta. Ale občas máte jenom pocit, jako kdyby vám úmyslně lhali, jen se nemáte o co opřít, protože fakta jaksi nejsou – případně byla tiše odstraněna. Zkrátka nevíte,jestli jenom slyšíte blbost růst, nebo jestli to dělají úmyslně. Klíčová otázka zní, jak se tomu chcete bránit? Máte vůbec nějakou šanci, když vám chybí třeba odborné znalosti?

Je možné se k tomu postavit následovně. Znáte-li způsob, jakým je psychologický útok veden, dokážete ho včas rozpoznat a vyhnout se mu. V tomhle článku vám ukáži psychologický útok, který mj. používá taktiku "se slušností nejdál dojdeš".

Je velmi dobře známo, že věda opakovatelně dosahuje konkrétních a prakticky použitelných výsledků. Proto útočníci předstírají, že i oni praktikují vědu, zatímco ve skutečnosti jde o pseudovědu (napodobování projevů vědy, systém Potěmkin). Lidé, kteří s vámi jednají fér, se vůči vám chovají slušně. A proto útočníci kopírují část jejich chování, abyste si mysleli, že jsou to slušní lidé, kteří s vámi budou jednat férově.

Na některé milé lidičky je prostě třeba dát si pozor. V praxi však nemusí jít vždy o útok, ale někdy jen o zmatené povídání lidí, kteří danému bludu podlehli. Snaží se obhájit něco, co tváří v tvář racionálním, věcně podloženým argumentům obhájit nelze*. Proto vám podvodník z diskuze s takovými argumenty uteče, protože sám nejlépe ví, že jde o podvod.

*Protože nejde o fakta, ale o víru, každého o jeho omylu nepřesvědčíte. Takže i když to neobhájí, ještě to neznamená, že svou víru opustí. Některé pokročilé věřící dokonce v jejich víře prezentací protidůkazů ještě utvrdíte. A věřit se dá v leccos, nejenom v boha.

Volba strategie

Každý mumbo-jumbo product dealer se dříve, či později, musí nějak vypořádat se skeptiky, a racionálně uvažujícími lidmi vůbec, je-li úspěšný. Skeptici totiž pro něj představují problémovou skupinu obyvatelstva. Řada z nich má odborné vzdělání a mozek, který dokáže vymyslet důkaz přesvědčivý i pro lidi dobré vůle. V podstatě existují tři možné strategie, jak může dealer postupovat.

Jako první z nich lze nařknout skeptiky ze zapšklosti, neustálé potřeby něco popírat a absolutisticky prosazovat tu svou, jedinou pravdu. Výčtu jejich vlastností je třeba dodat negativní náboj, zatímco útočník se postaví do role hodného člověka, který bojuje za vaše práva na výdobytky, které vám ti hnusní skeptici upírají, jen aby bylo po jejich. Možná i proto je mezi šarlatány tak oblíbená póza ublíženého chudinky v reakci na kritiku, která uhodila hřebíček na hlavičku.

Příkladem, existují konspirační teorie o lékařích a farmaceutickém průmyslu, jak nám předepisují léky na zisk, ačkoliv je tělo nepotřebuje. Anebo nám ty opravdu účinné léky zamlčují, protože by přišli o zisky. Každý správný konspirátor přece ví, že vláda nás soustavně poprašuje čímsi z nádrží letadel, abychom byli nemocní – tzv. chemtrails.

Vděčnými jsou nevyléčitelné choroby, o kterých vědecky založená medicína přizná, že je neumí zvládnout. Vezměte si jako příklad vaše blízké, nejlépe děti. Zoufalý rodič je schopen udělat cokoliv. Ale on i zamilovaný chlap, který právě dostal kopačky od své pravé lásky, dokáže být pěkně zoufalý. Stejně jako ten, kterému se u žen dlouhodobě nedaří.

Není-li ovšem člověk zcela padlý na hlavu, nebo v emočním stresu např. z osamělosti, snadno pozná o co jde.

Další možnou strategií je ignorace. Ta je už přece jenom blíže k názvu článku a zároveň není třeba obhajovat neobhajitelné. Konec konců, někdo se vždy nachytá. "Důvěřivec, který se dá oškubat, se narodí každých 30 sekund" zní poučení z autobiografické knihy The Psychic Mafia od M. Lamara Keeneho. Jenomže, co když se provalí něco nevhodného, co by mohlo ubrat nezanedbatelnou část klientely? A proto zkusme ještě třetí možnost.

Půjdeme na to slušně, dokonce oběť pochválíme za její kritické myšlení. Že dělá dobře, když pochybuje – viz technika Fine Flattery [84]. Prostě připustíme, že bohužel existují i podvodníci a rozumný člověk, by měl chtít vidět důkaz, má-li o daných tvrzeních pochyby. Už v tomto kroku se vyplatí začít měnit standardně používané termíny k záměru svému. Mohlo by to vypadat následovně:

Je člověk skeptikem jen proto, že se zajímá o možnost důkazu? Každý z nás má právo udělat si svůj názor. Je správné mít rozumovou ochranu před podvodníky a slepě nevěřit každému. Ale také je správné nestavět se skepticky ke všemu, neodmítat vše jen proto, že někdo vyjádřil své pochyby.

Zcela slušně jsem si právě připravil půdu pro obhajobu selektivních důkazů, nenápadně naznačil potřebu skeptiků popírat a jakože se zastal vašich práv. Trik je v tom, že je to až příliš obecné, než aby se proti tomu dalo něco rozumně namítat. Mimochodem, v textu naznačená potřeba popírat je ve skutečnosti narážka na důkaz sporem. Jako kdyby vám u soudu zakázali svědka, který by měl potvrdit vaše alibi.

Ale to byl jenom první krok, pojďme se podívat, jak to dotáhnout do konce.

Nikdo není dokonalý

Proč to zatajovat, i skeptik se může splést a ani věda není neomylná. Skeptik by ale mohl poukázat na fakt, že věda, narozdíl od útočníkovy pseudovědy, je přece jenom o dost blíže pravdě. Řádně informovaného občana útočník jen tak neoblbne, takže to vezmeme z pohledu ovčana t.č. přístupného útočníkovým argumentům.

Útočník může vždy vyhrabat nějaký přesvědčivý fakt, o kterém by klienti na začátku minimálně řekli, že si nejsou jisti jeho pravdivostí. Jen si vybrat fakt z kategorie, do které spadá nabízený mumbo-jumbo produkt. Např. že někdo dokázal utáhnout náklaďák, nespat x hodin, nebo vyluštit křížovku v nějakém podivuhodném čase. Příkladem matematická hádanka. Třeba když byste nad rovníkem natáhli provaz o délce o jeden metr delší než obvod Země nad rovníkem, zda by pod ním proběhla myš. K tomu přihoďte obvod Země za účelem ohromení tou velkou vzdáleností, nečekejte, až oběti dojde, že asi ano, když už se tak návodně ptáte, a triumfálně prozraďte řešení.

Když bych vám řekl, že lidský mozek je schopný provést 11,38 miliard operací za sekundu, nevěřili byste mi. Ale počítač Deep Blue právě s tímto výkonem (11,38 GFLOPS) uhrával v šachách remízu s velmistrem.

Právě jsem vám zcela slušně ukázal, že nejste neomylní a že ani neznáte všeobecně známé informace z oboru. Jak chcete potom rozhodnout, co je pravda a co není? Tudíž byste se měli svěřit do rukou člověka, který se právě prezentoval jako odborník. Dávejte si pozor. Že jste to nevěděli i vy, z toho přece nevyplývá, že vám říká ve všem pravdu a nic účelově nezamlčuje ani nezkresluje!

Uvedené srovnání je navíc zavádějící už z principu. Jednak porovnáváme specifickou činnost, která rozhodně nezabírá podstatnou část života průměrného člověka, a jednak šachový velmistr není zrovna, statisticky vzato, reprezentativním vzorkem populace.

Kvalita vs. kvantita

Třetí krok je závěrečný a je vyvrcholením toho, pro co jsme si v předchozích dvou krocích připravili půdu. Apel na ignoranci ospravedlněný selektivními důkazy. Používá-li někdo jen ty důkazy, ze kterých nelze usoudit, že nemá pravdu, ačkoliv jsou mu známy i ty dokazující opak (důkaz sporem), pak používá selektivní důkazy. Selektivně si vybral jenom to, co se mu zrovna hodí do krámu. V některých případech jsou dokonce za důkaz vydávána i tvrzení, která vůbec nesouvisí se sliby útočníka.

Lze to otočit i proti skeptikům a prohlásit, že se drží jenom těch důkazů, které popírají a ostatní ignorují. Myslíte si, že na tom něco bude?

Řekněme, že vám mumbo-jumbo dealer prodává revizorům neviditelný plášť, díky kterému můžete MHD jezdit zcela zadarmo, protože vás žádný revizor neuvidí. Významné množství jízd vás asi skutečně nikdo nechytí, protože tolik revizorů zřejmě není. Leda by tu zasáhla příslovečná náhoda. Útočník by si tak nárokoval pravdivost svého tvrzení o neviditelném plášti. Jenže, čím častěji budete jezdit, tím větší šance, že vás revizor jednou vyhmátne. A asi ne jenom jednou. Skeptik by tak usoudil, že plášť nejspíš neviditelný nebude. Tak, komu dáte za pravdu teď? ;-)

Mimochodem, dealer by nejspíš přišel s post-hoc výmluvou, že revizor měl detektor neviditelných plášťů. A vzápětí by vám nabídl prodej protidetektoru...

V třetím kroku se útočník postaví do pozice, že důkazů už vám dal dost a nikdo po něm nemůže chtít, aby vám je předkládal donekonečna. Zejména, když jste očividně zaujatí a prostě nechcete uvěřit. Takhle řečeno by to však bylo útočné a proto bychom místo toho slušně řekli, že každý z nás potřebuje různé množství důkazů, než uvěří.

Fígl je v tom, jaké důkazy byly předloženy. Není důkaz jako důkaz. Některé jsou selektivní, jiné zfalšované, další chybné, nebo neumí vyloučit jiné vlivy na výsledek... A to je kámen úrazu se skeptiky. Jim jde totiž o to, jak jsou důkazy průkazné. A potom dealere hledej, když nic takového nemáš... :-) Jemu jde o to, jak vás obelstít, abyste si neuvědomili právě tuhle skutečnost.

V závislosti na našich dosavadních zkušenostech jsme různě skeptičtí. Kdo má špatné zkušenosti, může vyžadovat více důkazů a my bychom ho za to neměli odsuzovat. Přinesli jsme spousty důkazů a je na každém z vás, ať si vezme kolik času potřebuje, než se sám přesvědčí.

Vidíte? Jak jsme slušní, rozumní a nikomu nic nenutíme? A ještě máme pochopení. A přitom jsme nedodali žádný průkazný materiál dokazující pravdivost našich tvrzení. I když jsme proti analýze skeptiků neobstáli, touhle dobou už je dostatečné množství obětí natolik omámeno slušným přístupem, že jsme po finanční stránce zvítězili. Nebo co to vlastně sbíráme místo financí...

Pár příkladů

Nejprve zkompletujeme uvedené fragmenty do jednoho celku.

Naší společnosti záleží na dětech, na jejich zdraví i vzdělání, protože děti jsou budoucnost nás všech. Proto jsme z planety Blahoslávie přivezli přírodní výtažek, který působí preventivně proti nemocem a zároveň zvyšuje mozkovou aktivitu. Bohužel, někteří lidé zůstávají skeptičtí i navzdory provedeným studiím.

Je člověk skeptikem jen proto, že se zajímá o možnost důkazu? Každý z nás má právo udělat si svůj názor. Je správné mít rozumovou ochranu před podvodníky a slepě nevěřit každému. Ale také je správné nestavět se skepticky ke všemu, neodmítat vše jen proto, že někdo vyjádřil své pochyby.

Když bych vám řekl, že lidský mozek je schopný provést 11,38 miliard operací za sekundu, nevěřili byste mi. Ale počítač Deep Blue právě s tímto výkonem (11,38 GFLOPS) uhrával v šachách remízu s velmistrem.

V závislosti na našich dosavadních zkušenostech jsme různě skeptičtí. Kdo má špatné zkušenosti, může vyžadovat více důkazů a my bychom ho za to neměli odsuzovat. Přinesli jsme spousty důkazů a je na každém z vás, ať si vezme kolik času potřebuje, než se sám přesvědčí.

Hned první odstavec je naprostý nesmysl, který jsem si právě vymyslel. Jméno planety jsem převzal ze seriálu Simpsonovi, díl Radost ze sekty. Můžete si ji nahradit čím chcete. Třeba amazonským pralesem, tibetským klášterem, nebo super špičkovou laboratoří*. Platí, že čím větší, případně i dražší, tj. vzácnější, nesmysl, tím přesvědčenější příznivce můžete získat. A mimochodem, vůbec nebylo řečeno, že by studie něco prokázaly;-)

Ohledně laboratoře, v praxi si můžeme všimnout např. padělaných léčiv, která v nejlepším případě nedělají nic. V nejhorším dáte vydělat pohřební službě. Např. obchodování s Viagrou a Cialis na Internetu – oboje je důvodně k dostání pouze na lékařský předpis. Situace se komplikuje tím, že něco s tímhle jménem skutečně existuje a funguje.

V praxi se však situace může zkomplikovat ještě víc. A to když se použije manipulativní technika na propagaci něčeho, co skutečně funguje a pro co jsou výsledky. Příkladem mohou být např. kampaně některých prodejců Omega-3. Za povšimnutí pak stojí rozdíly mezi jejich cenou a obsahem EPA a DHA.

Předchozí dva odstavce však v žádném případě nezavdávají důvod k racionalizaci, že když se v tom tedy vůbec nemusíte vyznat, tak byste to neměli bezdůvodně odmítat. To byste podvodníkům rovnou sedli na lep! Chtějte vidět konkrétní a nezávisle získané údaje.

Ale teď už se podívejme, jak malá změny stačí, aby se to dalo použít i v jiné oblasti...

Žádný člověk by neměl být sám. Každému asi nepomůžeme, ale některým snad ano. A proto jsme vyvinuli speciální techniku, která vám usnadní seznámení s ženou. Bohužel, i navzdory našim zkušenostem z terénu ji někteří lidé stále apriori odmítají.

Je člověk skeptikem jen proto, že se zajímá o možnost důkazu? Každý z nás má právo udělat si svůj názor. Je správné mít rozumovou ochranu před podvodníky a slepě nevěřit každému. Ale také je správné nestavět se skepticky ke všemu, neodmítat vše jen proto, že někdo vyjádřil své pochyby.

Když bych vám řekl, že náš instruktor metodu ukázal studentům na více než tisíci ženách, věřili byste tomu? A přitom by to za dva roky trvání kurzů vyžadovalo ani ne dvě ženy na jeden den.

V závislosti na našich dosavadních zkušenostech jsme různě skeptičtí. Kdo má špatné zkušenosti, může vyžadovat více důkazů a my ho za to neodsuzujeme. Přinesli jsme spousty důkazů a je na každém z vás, ať si vezme kolik času potřebuje, než se sám odhodlá naši metodu vyzkoušet.

Chcete-li ovšem zvýšit tlak, použijte sex a nasaďte brouka pochybností do hlavy spolu s uměle vyvolaným strachem z rozchodu.

Už jste spolu někdy leželi v posteli a napadlo vás, nakolik je s vámi spokojená a nakolik své potěšení jen předstírá, aby neranila vaše city? Existuje snad něco, co jste si neuvědomili a kvůli čemu se rozejdete i s ní?Můžeme vám pomoci, nechcete-li ovšem raději zůstat u svých pochyb...

Pochybuje člověk jen proto, že se zajímá o možnost důkazu? Každý z nás má právo udělat si svůj názor. Je správné mít rozumovou ochranu před podvodníky a slepě nevěřit každému. Ale také je správné nestavět se skepticky ke všemu, neodmítat vše jen proto, že někdo vyjádřil své pochyby.

Když vám řeknu, že vás naučíme jak nažhavit její erotogenní zóny, věřili byste tomu? A přitom ženy znají své erotogenní zóny jako žádný muž. Zkuste se od nich něčemu přiučit prostřednictvím našich speciálních technik.

V závislosti na našich dosavadních zkušenostech jsme různě skeptičtí. Kdo má špatné zkušenosti, může vyžadovat více záruk a my bychom ho za to neměli odsuzovat. Dostalo se nám velké zpětné vazby od našich klientů a je jen na každém z vás, ať si vezme tolik času, kolik potřebuje, než se sám odhodlá naše techniky vyzkoušet.

U planety Blahoslávie evidentně můžete poděkovat vlastní blbosti, kdybyste na něco takového skočili. Zato u následujících dvou si všimněte, že vám vlastně nebylo slíbeno nic konkrétního. Dokonce ani nic, co by se dalo považovat za všeobecně známé moudro. Hodlá snad někdo informovaný uvěřit vágním tvrzením?

Vezměte si takové tvrzení, že ženy zajímají jenom alfa samci. Takhle postaveno je to nesmysl už z logiky sdělení. Je-li tak významné o nich mluvit, jak se to dělává, není jich většina. Pokud by tedy ženy zajímaly jenom alfy, tak chtějí dobrovolně riskovat slušnou šanci, že zůstanou na ocet. Přičemž právě tohle v realitě nedělají. Co s tím? Co třeba upravit sdělení tak, že ženy zajímají hlavně alfy? Sice to na první pohled vypadá OK, ale už vám nikdo neřekl, co se alfou vlastně myslí. Ačkoliv to vypadá jako korektně použitý etiologický termín, vůbec to neznamená, že je používán v jeho vědeckém významu – pseudovědecká prezentace. Klidně se jeden může bavit o vozech a druhý o kozách. Třeba.

Když na vás vyrukují s jakýmsi slušným sdělením o věcech s prezentací hodnou pseudovědy (alternativní medicína, životní bio-energie, neuro-lingvistické programování, kolektivní nevědomí, astrologie, pickup...), prostě si odmyslete všechny zdvořilůstky a zaměřte se na jádro sdělení a na konkrétní fakta. Hned se vyjasní, jestli jenom zveličují běžnou až nevýznamnou záležitost, zda jde o logický klam, výmysl, nesmysl či pubertální řeči, nebo cosi, v co je nutné uvěřit, protože fakta prostě nejsou.

Abych nezapomněl, hraná skromnost a přiměřená sebekritika také vypadá dobře. Například povíte, že jste to (ať už je to cokoliv), pravda, mohli udělat lépe, nebo dokonce i jinak, že by to skutečně šlo, ale že konec konců je nejdůležitější fakt, že jste se odhodlali něco udělat. Tímhle stylem můžete pochválit i ostatní, které "koučujete" a bude to mít úspěch. Inu, a jestli s tímhle vidíte problém ve falzifikaci, tak ho tam vidíte správně.

Obrázek: Milá, stará paní mi nabízí chutné jablko, myslí si Sněhurka ve filmu ze studia Walta Disneyho.

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Believing in various pseudoscience myths and errors may have several reasons. For instance, it can be math-poor education, intelligence, lack of education, mental illness, vulnerabilities such as emotional stress and effectiveness of psychological exploits. In addition, recent medical research (brain tumor removal) discovered that particular brain centers are responsible for preferring the spiritual thinking [141]. Once the respective tissue has been removed, the spiritual preferences dropped.

Let's hope we will see another pseudoscientific cry that this is caused by mobile phones and Wi-Fi despite the very fact that tumors used to develop even thousands years before the invention of radio. People just were not able to diagnose the illness and there was no hysteria towards them. At this time, it looks as if hypersensitivity to EMFs is a psychosomatic disorder.

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Well, on one side, there are quacks, which claim to help you, your friends, family and beloved ones. No matter, what the problem is - they claim to be of a help.

On another side, there are skeptics, which are pretty much aware of their practices and the very fact on how people react in an emotional stress. All they can do is to educate people by exposing tricks and errors of quacks' claims. Unfortunately, not everybody has a needed education and sometimes it is difficult to explain the science behind.

On even yet another side, there are reformed people, who used to make living with quackery and this sort of things. So, even if you don't understand the required part of science, you can still learn what's behind the curtain. Don't get distracted by the word psychic - rather pay attention to the principles, which were used to promote psychic powers. Who knows? May be and you'll find something familiar in your experience.

All mediums, including me, subscribed to the creed that a new sucker is born every thirty seconds and that the typical spiritualist believer is in sympathy with his own destruction. For our sitters - even those with whom we pretended friendship outside the séance room - we had unspeakable contempt.
- M. Lamar Keeene in his book of the same name as this article

Okay, you wanna something related to relationships, right? Well then. Chapter seven is called "Sex in the Séance" alias "How to Lay a Ghost". No kidding. This goes far beyond traditional fantasies of dating gurus as I know them:-)

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Your behavior towards her affects her interest level in you. Therefore, we can say that she judges your actions, which we can further classify as following with respect to circumstances, under which she grades your behavior. We are interested in the reason that resulted into the interest level change:

• Day Life
• Test
• Exploit

Day Life

On a date, do you wear a clean, non-wrinkled t-shirt and shiny boots? Do you make a noise over anything, or do you keep it cool? She watches your reactions and judges, what kind of person you’re. Her interest level was affected by your reaction to a situation, she did not intentionally create.

In the area of dating and relationships, Day Life situation is not Test or Exploit in the context of a reason of an interest level change.

Test

Here come all situations she purposely arranged to test you. She can smile at you and want to change the restaurant every time you got into one. In reality, tour over all restaurants is not her goal – she wants know, when you’ll stand-up and risk loosing her. She can smile at you during a discussion to tell you that she thinks an opposite of something you’ve just said. Does she really think so, or does she wanna know, if you start to modify your opinion to match hers? What if she just wanna knows, if you have a backbone? ;-)

In the area of dating and relationships, Test is a purposely arranged action that triggers a relationship interest level change in some direction.

Exploit

She liked the yesterday date so much, so she let you know this morning. She loves you so much, so she told you that. She misses you such much, so she sends messages. She does these things because of her high interest level – this is not a test. And you, lead by honor intentions, want to reciprocate the very same way. Parroting her reactions back does not increase the interest level. However, you feel like a manipulator as you intentionally keep back (your exploit) for a goodness of the relationship. Yet, thanks to rising emotions you take the parrot role anyway. And therefore, in the area of dating and relationships, I newly introduce the term "exploit" to describe these situations. Authors of encyclopedias and explanatory dictionaries, you have my permission to include the term:-)

In the area of dating and relationships, purposely-done Exploit follows an action that attempted to trigger a relationship interest level change in a desired direction. Accidentally-done Exploit follows an action that was not supposed to lower relationship interest level. Exploit is the following reaction that was done because of emotions.

Above mentioned message is an example of accidentally-done exploit. Having mercenary to go by an overloaded night bus, instead of using taxi, is an example of purposely-done exploit – you rough her ego by that.

Yet, there is one more difference – it is in you head. Although you have to watch your reactions, exploit can be misused (e.g. tears), you cannot consider everything as a test. This would throw you into a conspiracy world, where you cannot fully trust anyone. What would be such relationship worth? Well, it surely would not be worth continuing.

Thanks to a strong similarity with computer security, I leave the "exploit" name as is for languages other than English.

As you systematically try to raise her interest level, you act alike a running program. As no computer program is error free (at least as a sequence of processor instructions and any, including future, hardware), your efforts can be harmed by a specific input. Alternatively, you can affect another program by providing a specific input to it. Although, both situations can happen accidentally as well as purposely, the common denominator is always a program flaw altogether with a specific input.

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Man-O’-Experience

You should rather think, before you obey an advice of somebody, who describes his/her own experience only. Taken statistically, one man is an insignificant population sample to make directive conclusions. It is not just enough to know, how women behaved towards him – you need to know, how these women behaved towards other men.

You can form hypothesis based on information of my-own-experience men, but only when you have enough of them. Nevertheless, you still have to prove the hypothesis in the practice. And only if they survive attempts to prove them wrong, you can start talking about theories.

Pure Advisors

They seem to have the experience, they always have some advice, and even they wrote number of articles. So, what’s the problem? They have no model of woman behavior. If they would be so good, they would be aware of principles, which describe relationships.

Clearly speaking, ones tell you there’s no versatile woman for everybody. Yet, they immediately throw a number of advices upon you. They advise how to get a woman, but with no specification given. So, what kind of woman will you get? As if they naively suppose a versatile woman. Isn’t that an oxymoron?

Other ones divide the act of seduction into several phases. However, the important phases are not discussed adequately. For instance, they tell you to check, whether you can seduce her. And that’s all. What do they mean with the checking? To verify, whether she has high interest level in you? We don’t know. They have not told a word about it. It seems like they cover this topic in some other article, but when you start looking, it shows that it is practically impossible to find something particular. Like if they are writing general truths only. And when you find something, what sounds a little bit particularly, it is like a sociology report of Víťa Jakoubek: “Although, most of students have some idea about their future career, heft of them have none yet.”. For instance, what practical use is hidden in their advice to be flexible? During his life, everybody got into a situation, when he had to serve one’s time – even if he had to wait, before he could cross a street safely. Anybody, who doesn’t understand the importance of compromise, is hard to help.

A group of idealists comes here as well. They take their inspiration from movies, statements of celebrities and some philosophers. Usually, they pick some catchy, sentimental phrase and enjoy their time with it.

• Bram Stoker aka Dracula: "I have crossed oceans of time to find you."
  
  Practically unusable, but it sounds damn romantically. A typical illustration of a man groveling for her favor.


• Henry David Thoreau: "There is no remedy for love but to love more."
  
  Sure, you love her, you become nice guy, so she choose another man, right in that moment, when her interest level passed over the point of no return. Yet, you are still so much in love with her, so you pressure her more and more. Perfect way to make her loose the last of her respect, she might have for you.


• Richard Bach: "Real love stories never have endings."
  
  And how about all those break-ups? An exemplary show of essential ignorance.

Fortunately, although in a smaller number, you can encounter actually useable phrases.

• Cary Grant: "My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can."
  Perfect demonstration of your answer, once she starts interrogating about your life.

Critics’ Critics

How can you listen to him? He just criticizes others and has not come with anything. Oh yes, even my analysis may invoke that impression. But correct me, if I’m wrong – there’s no point in criticizing what’s OK. To better yourself, you have to quit doing mistakes. And how do you want to do that, if nobody tells you about them?

There’s one rule to recognize a constructive criticism. In such, there will be reasoning and suggestion of a better solution – if there’s one. Yet be warned, even a constructive criticism may bother your ego. And moreover, it is not guaranteed to be right. So, do you know now, why I include reasoning and citations? ;-)

One Night Stand

I hope you did not forget – we are after a long-term relationship with Miss Right here. Of course, the idea of you being so attractive that women want to sleep with a complete stranger is so tempting. Oh, how it flatters your ego. Second thoughts, how she might be out of luck to get somebody she really wanted, so you came handy, they are not welcomed. Yes, even mass-media present that as a marvelous success. Moreover, there really are people who do it with complete strangers. Some people are satisfied with such life style. So, let it be. However, as we are after a long-term relationship, we have to realize that Miss Right behaves differently.

Although the point is easy to understand, many people can’t catch it. Compare two following approaches:

1. You give chance to any girl you like. Your choice may include one night standers. You look like somebody, who wins the favor of women.
2. You exclude most of them right in the beginning, as they don’t meet your criteria – Miss Right with high interest level. It may take a while to meet such woman.

You can see the first approach as more funny and you can argue that statistically taken, after sometime you’ll meet Miss Right with high interest level anyway. So, you see the first approach as more suitable. If anybody has not expected me to write this – mistake. The great advantage of the first approach is the possibility that you’ll hit the reality’s wall so hard that you’ll reconsider your process of selection. The un-teachable ones will stay with the first approach.

If you give chance to any girl, what use does it have for a long-term relationship? Yes, you can improve your sexual skills – that’s right. However, when it comes to keeping her interest level high, you practice on wrong targets. If you want Miss Right, you will have to choose her somehow – you’ll have to decide, which one she is, and which one has high interest level. Every woman is not Right and if you spend time with any woman available, you loose your time – you tarry. Even, if you would not be particularly after Miss Right, not every woman will fit you.

Ego alias Wishful Thinking

So, you wanted a date, but she did not? For instance, did she show her low interest level by ignoring your phone calls? And how about your ego? It compels you to come up with a number of reasons, why she could not pick-up the phone, while she actually wanted to. Your ego just does not want to see the one and only reason – the low interest level. That’s why so many men pick-up the phone and beg her to reconsider that they are worth her attention. One just stand wonder-struck – if they were worth her attention, they would not beg her in the first place! They already would be after another one, who has not rejected them.

So many people are naïve and starry-eyed. As their motto, they could use: “She would clearly say no, if she would not be interested.”. Just don’t confuse them with optimists – they are a different chapter. These ones refuse to admit the truth. Why just don’t they want to see that if somebody wants to make a deal, s/he does something for it?

She committed adultery, yet he put his trust in her again, since he believed it was just a momentarily failure and she won’t do that again. So, she committed adultery again. With another man and under a better cover. Does it sound familiar to anybody?

We have 5-years relationship, but my girlfriend moved out two weeks ago – she said she needs a break to put her life together. I’m 23, she’s 22. What’s wrong with her? It’s astonishing how often men cannot see an obvious sign of low interest level. And not only that. This is a predictable result. Five years ago, she was 16. Statistics clearly says there will be a breakup, as she is too young. It is a nice demonstration of a battle you cannot win, if that means a long-term relationship. Are you still in a high school? Do not entertain false hopes as the interest level will never drop below the point of no return.

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t say that you should avoid girls, until you’re 19, 24 or more. Statistics says that you need to have some experience from practice and that’s the reason why first relationships fail. If you postpone them after high school, or later, you’ll still need to practice first.

I’ll tell you two war stories about people who wanted to believe, they’ll be the exceptions. They’ve dated since a high school, yet she left him anyway. For some time, they were apart, but she came back then. She had no high interest level and he had no idea, how much she used him. Second war story – they fell in love almost as kids so much, they got married. Hey, wait a moment – they never ever went on a single date with anybody else?! After reaching 40 and two kids, they have divorced. And do you know what? Unlike them, for sure, now you have information needed to more accurately predict the outcome under such conditions.

Into the Long-Term Relationship: Plot the Sex Course, Navigator

I’m gonna continue with another war story. She had several relationships, even male friends she rejected. But one day, the age of 30 came and no one suitable was on the scene. She even tried to seduce the last candidate with sex. It shown, he did not want to bind himself to woman he practically doesn’t know and not so soon. But she felt like going crazy from the beat of her biological clock. So her majesty granted an amnesty to one of her rejected friends.

As you’ll hear somebody talking about sex as about a way to begin a long-term relationship, remember and try to think, whether it could be a variant of this war story. And since I wanna help you more than such talkers, I give a description of a warning flag that compromises such women. In the beginning, when she accepts your offer (e.g. date), her answer contains a reasoning, why she accepts. Like if she knew she is doing something wrong, she wants to convince the world she actually does the right thing. Miss Rights accepts your offer, because she has high interest level and therefore her response states that she agrees and that she looks forward to see you. Or a concrete counteroffer;-)

Existence of the flag, that’s good news. And two bad news accompany it:

1. If she is a user, she can watch her reaction to camouflage her true intentions. And don’t be fooled – she does not do that because of her high interest level. She has none. And therefore, it is possible that you won’t see the flag, just because she doesn’t care about you.


2. The more important an honorable act is to her, the greater probability you’ll see the flag. Sad to say, the higher your interest level goes, the less you wanna care. It takes self-control and self-esteem on your side.

Two examples of the warning signal follow:

• Hi. Originally, I thought you’re a player. Nevertheless, it was nice, so I don’t see a reason why not to see you again. Bye Jenny


• Hi Clyde, you’ve quite surprised me. Perhaps, I was too young, when I rejected you at the time. But now, you look like a fine man – so, why not to get together. Bonnie

Emotions and Not Fully-Grown Personalities

Have you ever heard somebody’s bragging, how many women he had? And how many of them were so desirable, even celebrities? Without a success, I try to come up with a reason, why a gentleman should do so. If the man is so good and she’s worth it, they stay together and he has no reason to brag: "Oh yeah, when I was with Carmen Electra...".

The need for bragging with whom he slept, the number of them, etc. it’s nothing else but a sign of a person, which have not mentally grown. The real man has the results and therefore he does not brag like a teenager, who saw a naked woman for the first time.

Once, I came across a notice of one Pickuper, how he started to better himself and therefore he rejected his girlfriend in a pretty rude way. I have no intention to criticize that he ended the relationship, if he had no interest in continuing. But he devoted most of the notice to a description, how his ex was disoriented, tried to save the relationships and on the whole she reacted sensibly. And he enjoyed the describing as he prolonged and enjoyed the act. But in the end, she squared accounts with him – rightly so.

Pay attention, if there are signs of mental imbalance. To quote DocLove – in such situations, there are no victims, just volunteers.

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Feministas

It is always his fault. The Feministas’ Rule Book says so and it speaks for itself.

It speaks so clearly that some of them figured out, how much they’ve crossed the line. So, they began to distinguish the radical feministas. At least, the radical ones do not hide their real agenda. Yes, women did not always have the same rights and in some countries, they do not even today. And what? Wise people do not deny that and the mentally-grown ones do not want to own anybody. And when I write people, I refer to men and women. Yet, feministas have to ventilate this, as if every man is a public enemy number one. And how about the fact that after a divorce a child goes to a woman almost every time? Or another fact – years, which men spent at home while caring of children, do not count into the rent for men like they do for women? If we would like to make the noise as women do, there would be plenty of ammo, but we do not do that.

Every time I noticed a woman to label herself as a feminista, I paid more attention to her. And when she began to speak about relationships, it always ended with the same trait – she made a wrong choice and every next man has to pay for her fault. Perhaps, she did not want to put such load on her audience, so she skipped the conclusion conveniently.

I never heard any Miss Right to label herself as a feminista and to rain fire and brimstone to be taken seriously. It goes in vain as gentleman would treat her with respect on his own and she is interested in gentlemen only. And now try to answer a question, should a real gentleman ever want any feminista?


Passive Opportunists

From time to time, you can meet somebody telling you about women trying to seduce him. I leave celebrities and mercenaries for a later discussion, as I am about to focus on ordinary types now. Yes, from time to time, some woman can really try to seduce you. However, you have probably noticed that for several days in a row, you can walk through the town, while it simply does not happen.

Having high interest level in you, it does not mean she is Miss Right, or that you will be able to keep her. It takes knowledge as well as enough of experience to keep her interest level high. Only the active way of dating can give you enough of the experience.

And one more thing – if you take the active way of dating, you are able to choose from far greater numbers, so you can meet your Miss Right far sooner. Otherwise, you just wait who is left for you and nobody can guarantee a result.


Young-blooded

Have you ever heard offended sentences like “Actually, I’m still a child, so my opinion is always bad, because I’m not adult yet.”? Oh yes, only a child can tell this – a child not aware of his/her child thinking. However, sometimes they are twenty years old and they think that because of their driving license, they are adult. In the best interest of fair play, some adults will always consider them as children. The younger man is, the more he inclines to adjust his statements to the image of a woman that he digs momentarily. Not speaking about the biological influence – the influence of hormones during adolescence [6, 7]. How many of them have described their guaranteed methods, which they consider as functional and proven enough? Many. It’s clear like a sunny sky – they are no fools and they want no shrew to control their lives. So, when they are happy with her, she has to be OK. It is logical.

There is a simple trick how to discover, whether you are listening to some young-blooded mind, or when an adult man speaks – a man who can go for a long-term relationship with Miss Right. When you gain the wisdom with age, you realize there’s no good to hurry things up, if the results should persist. Are you a romanticist? Remember the flower-bud as it needs its time to blossom into a charming rose. Are you more of a man of practice skills? Remember that a wet painting needs its time to dry up. Correct, it is the matter of timing.

• Do they have a guaranteed procedure as two out of four experiments succeeded?
• Do they measure the success in a time needed to get her laid?
• Do they speak about a relationship right after a week?

Even as their driving license may prove them adult, they still can grow up mentally – at least to learn the patience, i.e. the self-control as well.

• 50% of success ration may indicate an interesting progression, but
• You cannot make confirmative conclusions from a few experiments


• The same way, we can say that 50% was failure – but I would prefer the optimistic thinking too


• Pay an attention, whether they discussed differences of each experiment, or if they just think that the conditions were the same for all conducted experiments. Are they able to back their claims? In accordance with a next example, when you encounter a one-night-stander, which you see for the first time in your lives, yet she decided to have a sex with you, it is very hard to blow it up. However, it is very easy to ignore this thanks to your ego.


• Two women out of four might have had high interest level and therefore their behavior might have been perceived as a success, while the procedure itself could even lower their interest level – simply said their interest level might have been high enough and you could compensate the effect of the procedure – for instance more self-confidence and a relaxed approach, which could come out of a placebo effect. Going back to the previous point, for a prejudiced observer, it is hard to see all alternatives and so hasty judgment is nothing but a wishful thinking


• What’s their goal? For a long-term relationship, her attitude matters. Easiness of getting her laid does not guarantee all qualities. Anybody, who bases the success just on the speed of getting her laid, misses what the long-term relationship is about.


• Anybody, who maximizes his chances for success, will have just one date per week maximum without asking her for a next date. This technique works because you are different than the others – because you do not pressure her as if she is yours first date. Moreover, after a one week only, you cannot know her so well to know, whether she is a material for the long-term relationship.

Unless you are almost thirty, you don’t have the needed perspective (experience, self-control, the mentioned influence of hormones, …) to advice on relationships. Not that you could right after you are thirty. Technically speaking, you could and some people will even listen to you, but that’s all. There is a proverb that in the teen-age, every love is the true one. However, if you want the long-term relationship with Miss Right, you have to be a cynic a little bit. Otherwise, you will have difficulties to admit that things might be different than the way you want to see them.

Young-blooded advisors are good, when you need to know, what’s in for young people. But on the other hand, you should go after somebody of your age. Even if you are young, I would prefer advices of older and experienced men anyway. Objectively speaking, advices of young men could be more pleasant to your ego and they have not the time to grow up. However, the game is not about this.

However, I cannot rule out a possibility that you can meet a young man, who was so wise to accept a good advice, or asked a right question on relationships.


Šárka and Ctirad

Looking at the picture by Mikoláš Aleš, do you recognize Šárka and Ctirad? The young, naive man, who let himself catch in a death-trap for the pretty face of Šárka?

The story of Šárka and Ctirad is a part of Old Bohemian Tales [8]. Some time ago in the seventh century A.D., not to rule alone, matriarchal ruler Libuše brought to power her husband Přemysl. After death of Libuše, Přemysl stood as the only, patriarchal ruler. Some women wanted to retain their power, which was backed by Libuše, so they went into a war with men. Ctirad was a member of Přemysl’s suite, he was his greatest fighter. Women knew they were outnumbered, so they prepared a trap to ambush Ctirad’s party. A beautiful warrior named Šárka let herself to be tied to a tree and left with a hog and a jug of mead. She planned to tell a fabricated story to Ctirad, as the Amazonian women tied her to the tree, with the mead right out of her reach and the hog to call for help, if she would have her hands free. Despite number of Přemysl’s warnings, Ctirad believed her and have not questioned her story, nor paid any security measures. Just as the women assumed to happen – a young man lost the game in a face of a beautiful woman, who pretended high interest level. Once “rescued” and having Ctirad under her control, she offered the mead. In reality, it was a sleeping potion. Once men slept, she sounded the horn and the female warriors came to her aid – to slaughter the sleeping men, except Ctirad. Later on, women brutally tortured Ctirad to death, leaving his dead body on eyes of other men. Soon after that, men defeated women. To avoid capture, and obviously the consequences, Šárka decided to take her life, and jumped off a cliff in the valley named Divoká Šárka. Yet, today you can encounter a version that she was so sorry, that she was in love with Ctirad so much, so she could not live with his death on her hands… Now, would you believe that tall story of her feeling guilty?

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Good Fairies

..., fortune-tellers, astrologists, god messengers, miracle workers, brain readers, etc. It is already seditious reading, yet let us put some more oil into the fire anyway. Everyone has some idea, what he would like to hear – basically, it is the same for most of people: “you do well, yet some troubles are ahead, but you can get over them and may be, you’ll profit from them – I see a potential in you”. Put that into a mystic array, add a talk show of veteran “occult” worker, who gets the necessary details from your during the talk, and that’s it. It is possible to tailor the crystal-ball job to match your dreams. If you want to believe, you always find something, in what the prediction came true. Just don’t look at it with a strict logic, while leaving your wishes aside, because you would see that you were not told anything particular, except facts that one could learn from you, or from a wise book!

If you pay them regular visits to get the advices, they have a time to prepare. If you desire to know something specific, they can study the theme in advance and subsequently interpret, what the stars tell. And if they swallow a bait – the spirit has lost in the infinity…. But hey, what’s the matter? If you are a regular fan of them, I cannot convince you;-)

Ever heard of Pi-water? It is a miracle stuff that even the greatest physicists cannot produce. I do not wonder that – if you read, what the Pi-water is capable of, you don’t have to understand physics to see what a non-sense it is. Yet as an example, Litovel brewery started to brew a beer out of this water…

None, truly scientific approach has ever confirmed the miracle capabilities of charlatans. On contrary, it showed a tendency to disconfirm them.


Miracle Workers

Deviser of emotional equations, brain quadrants, expert on after-consciousness and unconsciousness, grand master of hermetic order and other fine-sounding titles characterize people, who are willing to help you. And what’s interesting, they often take money for that. And since they are after your money, let’s give them some extra space.

At the mujvztah.cz website of ing. Kalina, the deviser of emotional equations, there is an article named “Genius and not-yet fully understood brain”. It is about emotional equations, their origin, detection and how to profit of them – the positive thinking, which is followed by a short explanation, why it does not have to work always. It sounds to me like an attempt to set up an alibi, in case you get different results.

I don’t know, where the author got his MSc.-alike diploma, but I would not give him even a credit from math. His equations are nothing else but declaration of constants. I’m not gonna argue over particular numbers, they go from zero to ten, from the most awful experience to the most pleasant one. However, it is interesting to see that “I’ll be always alone” has the same grade of 8 as “fine meal in a nice restaurant”.

There’s a pearl in the article: “In that moment, when 1% of society will understand the power of brain, the change will come and we all will begin to experience more of well-being and peace”. What the term society stands for? What is the power of brain? Even the one percent of Prague, a city where they hold courses, is great enough (when compared to number of the courses’ attendees), so he gets his alibi over proving the sentence. He will never have enough people to achieve the promised results – he cannot even prove his claims to be true. He just promises something he cannot do. Perhaps, I should pay a visit to his course, or sacrifice 5.000 Kč per hour over phone to let him explain; for a comparison, this year average gross earnings were between 21 and 22 thousands of Kč per month – 1 USD = 18 Kč and 1 EUR = 26 Kč.

Now, let’s make a hypothetic reasoning, what he can tell about the one percent, for instance. Do you know, how these miracle workers explain it? One monkey from Koshima, a Japanese island, learned to season potatoes with salt. Other monkeys followed this behavior and as the imaginary (see? no exact numbers) hundredth monkey learned this, observers detected the same behavior on surrounding islands. The say is that the knowledge spread from consciousness to consciousness. Obscurantism nonsense. Let’s rather take a rational, scientific course of approach to these sayings.

Monkeys camped out on the coastline, where stream water is more salty as it is nearer to the sea-water – they mix together. Seasoning with salt improved the taste of potatoes, thus giving the monkey a reason to repeat the newly adopted ability. And since monkeys have tendencies to copy behavioral patterns, others followed and continued for the very same reason. There was no consciousness transmission – they were after gastronomic pleasures. And the surrounding islands? For instance, lectures on Prehistoric Cultures held by Tim Roufs at University of Minnesota in Duluth state that even some monkeys learned to swim. The islands are not very far from each other, so few monkey missionaries of salt seasoning could do the job. And that no one has noticed a successive spreading of the salt seasoning? How could they as nobody was watching. Moreover, people visited all islands. Is it really so unlikely that they could not had some monkey passenger when travelling among islands? How did the rabbits got to Australia? ;-)

But, let’s get back to the article. He declares value of 5 as neutral, and then he writes that the ratings are person-specific, so you cannot compare them, yet he does so. Or an emotion sign with a value. Wow, no ordinary plus and minus. I would like to state the poor technical quality of the writing, but it seems to me to like an inappropriate euphemism.

Pay attention, it does not concern just a single article. In another one, we can read this: “The brain is so far the highest-rating computer in the world. Daily, it produces 70.000 thorough and its only function, besides controlling the body, is to compare information.” So, if it compares information only, besides controlling the body, how is that possible it produces thorough? And how did he got the number of 70.000?

Oh yes, I wrote it does not concern just a single article. So, not to make plural out of two examples, let’s give him some additional space. Next of his articles “Give an order for your life partner” reflects itself in one of its sentences: “Send all love doctors to go sleep and give your new partner a concrete face”. Deviser of emotional equations will pardon me, I’m not sleepy yet. But let’s get to the points of the order:

1. Specify, what is important for you in the areas of work, interests and belief
2. Size up your position on sex and the role your partner should play
3. Size up your position on money and the role your partner should play
4. If you like to travel, note it down
5. If you enjoy meal, you won’t want to eat alone
6. Article next important specifications

Points 1 to 3 look reasonable, don’t they? So reasonably that nobody, who is reasonably, would directly oppose them. And since a lot of people consider themselves so, including number of teenagers, the set of possible partners was not practically reduced. Point 4, one man’s eat is another man’s poison. Somebody travels to sunny beaches only, another one has an eternal bond with mountains. Well, still no progress in reducing the numbers of possible fits as nobody wants to stay home all the time and never take a trip. Point 5 sounds like a possibility that individuals with an aversion to meal are a common phenomenon in the population. However, the final point is the best one – write down whatever you want.

By the way, make a small exercise: how many articles concerning “the theme” have you seen, which in real have not said anything particular?

I could not help myself, but to notice that the final order is not reflected in the decision logic of entire procedure. And how could that be as he doesn’t know your wishes? It cannot be. So, why all that work? Perhaps, the knowledge, whom you want, would be somehow transferred from your consciousness to hers, the one you want, and voila;-) – see the previously mentioned brain article…

I had the opportunity to meet some guys, who had they order for a long time – and nothing happened. And I had the opportunity to meet other guys, who had girlfriends. Accordingly to devisor’s articles, I could try something like “they did not follow the procedure exactly, so the consciousness transmission failed”, but that would not be the truth. There was one important difference. Ones tried to approach women and the others did not.

“Memorize your order and pleasantly con it over each morning for a month.”, sounds in the last step of the given order procedure. Then you are supposed to leave the order to its fate. Let’s skip it to presented results, “Experience shows that within three or six month (after the initial conning month) your order will get realized.”. Using some computation, we can get actually believable results. In the interest of fair play, let us use the longest possible interval – 7 months. Taking 30.5 days as an average length of a month, we get 213.5 days your dream lady has to appear within. Weekends are days of working rest, so how about approaching at least one woman per three days? It is not much;-) Yet, you’ll handle over 70 approaches this way. Does anyone believe that each of these women would refuse you immediately? The statistics says, you’ll have a date except the un-salvable ones.

And how could we guarantee that the woman fits the order? Those, who are capable of approaching unknown women, do not tend to use such techniques. On contrary, a guy, who cannot approach a woman, will be happy as she devotes some time to him (even if that is to be just his imagination), and therefore she has to be his dream lady.

Nevertheless, we can asset entire article with less efforts: ” Give an order for your life partner” and “…you order will get realized”. Wow – not only that such order will deliver your dream lady, but it will guarantee that you will keep her;-) Well, living in new age – to find out, whether you fit each other for a life, it is matter of minutes today, as his coworker, Lenka Černá, says in hers Minute Test. Perhaps, the timing could be of a concern... asking after first date, or after first fifty years...

• By giving your order, you don’t get the experience and knowledge you need to keep her in the long-term relationship.
• Even the Minute Test states conclusions with the word “probably”. They cover their asses for opposing variants. For instances, a true love of 15-years old girl would violate the test’s credibility;-)

And these types declare themselves as competent to advice on your relationships. Well, they would give you some advices. But I don’t see a reason, why to take them seriously, or even to pay for them.


Slick Phrases

You might get an impression that instead of writing constructive articles, I purposely criticize opponents. But the opposite is true. When you get walking papers, hear wild stories about successes of others, confront with a guaranteed procedure and its followers, you face a psychic stress, whether you are really doing the right thing. It is OK, to use brain and to question. Just keep your head cool and don’t let emotions to overrun you. That’s the reason, why I show different variants of argumentation, advices and procedures and their bugs. What I describe as a bug, I prove as a bug and for that reason it stays in your head. It is hard to forget the truth. So, next time they’ll try some sweet talking on you, it would be far easier to hold your ground.

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Mirror, mirror, on the wall, tell me, who is the best love doctor of them all? I’m not a mirror, so you won’t find photos of best love doctors here. But I’ll rather assume that your goal is a great, long-term relationship with Miss Right. For this purpose, I give clues, which help to clarify the nature of received advices. And what’s beneficial, principles of these clues will help you in other aspects of your life as well.

People can give you advices for a number of reasons – they care about you, they want to save the world, or they want to make big money. Our interest is to find out, if their advices work or not. Following chapters of this section star several briefly-described classifications and one love doctor may qualify for multiple classifications. However, make sure to remember this:

Woman

When a woman speaks about keeping another woman, think: how many of them were a man in their lives? Preferably, a man that is successful with women. And the answer is: none of them. They give you advices on something, they have no experience with. Fellow ladies, feel free to feel offended, but the reality says it is true.

There a simple question to demonstrate the difference: "When a man should call her, after he gets her phone number?"[2]. How many women reply this way: "He should not wait too long, so I can decide, whether I want to go on a date with him."? Many. Guys, if you want them to feel comfortable and ingratiate, call soon – may be in a day or two. But, keep in your mind there is a big difference for you, whether she feels comfortable with you, or with somebody else. Look, she tells you the truth, she’ll be comfortable with such quick reaction, but not necessarily with you. However, when a man tells you to wait about a week, as you can learn here or [2, 3], in the effect, she’ll be happy as well. And with a greater probability, she’ll be happy with you, not with some other guy. In the mean time, before you call, she’ll think of you and her interest level will rise because of this, if it is already high. But, since she never was a man and never tried…

Dark ages are gone, nor you live in the Ramtop Mountains[5], so there’s no village witch. Toady, we have the Internet. You need only one good source to help you all. Fortunately, there is more than one;-)

Psychologist

In my country, Czech Republic, we have an "expert" called MUDr. Plzák, a holder of university diploma from psychiatry. His work affected a number of generations. At a rag website named super.cz, he uses a slogan under his name to state "the greatest relationship expert of all times". He wrote a lot of books, nothing against this, I even read some of them. So, I don’t say, he is wrong all the time – some of his points are OK.

Let us go back in time to the year of 1975, when he published one of his books, freely translated as "The Key to the Selection of a Partner for Marriage". For instance, page 77 of this book states the following:

There is a strict ban on empty sentences. I repeat them only in a brief listing, without comments.

• Beside you, I feel tied somehow.
• You are no life reliance for me.
• We do not have a goal.
• We understand each under, but in some weird way.
• ...

And so the sentences continued. Do you know what they really stand for? For a declining interest level [2, 3] that already could be under the point of no return. When the interest level drops, woman does not tell you: "Honey, my interest level is heading south, please do what you did, when I fell for you.". No way. You got to realize this on your own and do it, while there is still a time to save the relationship. And because of this, you have to watch the warning signals. But what had the "expert" Plzák done, when we practically talk about an explosion of thermonuclear relationship bomb? He forbids the warning signals. To put the head in the sand does not help. Fighting the outer signs only leaves the main problem intact. If there is a divorce or adultery, there is a reason as well.

We can see a key attribute throughout his work – an appreciation for relationships, which survived adultery. When one party betrays the other party, there is no respect for the betrayed one. And he glorifies this. Sure, some people stays together even after the adultery, because they cannot do more, so they are happy this way. Nevertheless, once the trust is gone, it is forever. For such people, his work is fine. Just don’t take it as a recipe for entire population. Clinically sane man with self-esteem will not tolerate adultery. It is nice, if you get fine along each other, just don’t forget, what really happened.

Beside Plzák, let us take look at a statement that comes from some of prestigious psychologists: "The woman, you are most attracted to, is most probably not suitable for a long-term relationship with you. You should aim for girls, which attract you less.". If you take the less attractive one, you are going to long for the more attractive girl and this will continue during the relationship. You’ll feel hunger for the attractive women and may be you’ll commit adultery. In return, is not adultery of your partner, and subsequently a divorce, a logical outfall of the events? The solutions they proposed still might lead to the break-up.

If you cannot get the one, you like most, you’re doing something wrong. For instance, you cannot control yourself, so you impersonate a nice guy. The real solution to your problems is not to take a second grade fate, but to better yourself. Perhaps, it would be a solution, if the following condition is met. Desired partner either does not exist, or exists in a trace amount. For instance, a face processed with magic of computer graphics and unreal combination of desired qualities, which you’ve been told somewhere as about a real combination.

Psychology and psychiatry, they both came with important knowledge that is applicable to relationships. However, there are certain moments, at which they seem to loose when compared to The Theory of Interest. This finding is not a result of well-formed sentences, Cold Reading [84]. It is a direct consequence of the math model that The Theory of Interest proposed. It took such degree of math, which we do not find among knowledge of psychiatrists and psychologists – with full respect to all exceptions.

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