Mirror, mirror, on the wall, tell me, who is the best love doctor of them all? I’m not a mirror, so you won’t find photos of best love doctors here. But I’ll rather assume that your goal is a great, long-term relationship with Miss Right. For this purpose, I give clues, which help to clarify the nature of received advices. And what’s beneficial, principles of these clues will help you in other aspects of your life as well.
People can give you advices for a number of reasons – they care about you, they want to save the world, or they want to make big money. Our interest is to find out, if their advices work or not. Following chapters of this section star several briefly-described classifications and one love doctor may qualify for multiple classifications. However, make sure to remember this:
Miss Right won’t stay with you, just because someone gave you an advice, or you know that you know how to keep her. She stays with you only if you keep her interest level high. Actions matter.
Woman
When a woman speaks about keeping another woman, think: how many of them were a man in their lives? Preferably, a man that is successful with women. And the answer is: none of them. They give you advices on something, they have no experience with. Fellow ladies, feel free to feel offended, but the reality says it is true.
There a simple question to demonstrate the difference: "When a man should call her, after he gets her phone number?"[2]. How many women reply this way: "He should not wait too long, so I can decide, whether I want to go on a date with him."? Many. Guys, if you want them to feel comfortable and ingratiate, call soon – may be in a day or two. But, keep in your mind there is a big difference for you, whether she feels comfortable with you, or with somebody else. Look, she tells you the truth, she’ll be comfortable with such quick reaction, but not necessarily with you. However, when a man tells you to wait about a week, as you can learn here or [2, 3], in the effect, she’ll be happy as well. And with a greater probability, she’ll be happy with you, not with some other guy. In the mean time, before you call, she’ll think of you and her interest level will rise because of this, if it is already high. But, since she never was a man and never tried…
Dark ages are gone, nor you live in the Ramtop Mountains[5], so there’s no village witch. Toady, we have the Internet. You need only one good source to help you all. Fortunately, there is more than one;-)
Psychologist
In my country, Czech Republic, we have an "expert" called MUDr. Plzák, a holder of university diploma from psychiatry. His work affected a number of generations. At a rag website named super.cz, he uses a slogan under his name to state "the greatest relationship expert of all times". He wrote a lot of books, nothing against this, I even read some of them. So, I don’t say, he is wrong all the time – some of his points are OK.
Let us go back in time to the year of 1975, when he published one of his books, freely translated as "The Key to the Selection of a Partner for Marriage". For instance, page 77 of this book states the following:
There is a strict ban on empty sentences. I repeat them only in a brief listing, without comments.
- Beside you, I feel tied somehow.
- You are no life reliance for me.
- We do not have a goal.
- We understand each under, but in some weird way.
- ...
And so the sentences continued. Do you know what they really stand for? For a declining interest level [2, 3] that already could be under the point of no return. When the interest level drops, woman does not tell you: "Honey, my interest level is heading south, please do what you did, when I fell for you.". No way. You got to realize this on your own and do it, while there is still a time to save the relationship. And because of this, you have to watch the warning signals. But what had the "expert" Plzák done, when we practically talk about an explosion of thermonuclear relationship bomb? He forbids the warning signals. To put the head in the sand does not help. Fighting the outer signs only leaves the main problem intact. If there is a divorce or adultery, there is a reason as well.
We can see a key attribute throughout his work – an appreciation for relationships, which survived adultery. When one party betrays the other party, there is no respect for the betrayed one. And he glorifies this. Sure, some people stays together even after the adultery, because they cannot do more, so they are happy this way. Nevertheless, once the trust is gone, it is forever. For such people, his work is fine. Just don’t take it as a recipe for entire population. Clinically sane man with self-esteem will not tolerate adultery. It is nice, if you get fine along each other, just don’t forget, what really happened.
Beside Plzák, let us take look at a statement that comes from some of prestigious psychologists: "The woman, you are most attracted to, is most probably not suitable for a long-term relationship with you. You should aim for girls, which attract you less.". If you take the less attractive one, you are going to long for the more attractive girl and this will continue during the relationship. You’ll feel hunger for the attractive women and may be you’ll commit adultery. In return, is not adultery of your partner, and subsequently a divorce, a logical outfall of the events? The solutions they proposed still might lead to the break-up.
If you cannot get the one, you like most, you’re doing something wrong. For instance, you cannot control yourself, so you impersonate a nice guy. The real solution to your problems is not to take a second grade fate, but to better yourself. Perhaps, it would be a solution, if the following condition is met. Desired partner either does not exist, or exists in a trace amount. For instance, a face processed with magic of computer graphics and unreal combination of desired qualities, which you’ve been told somewhere as about a real combination.
Psychology and psychiatry, they both came with important knowledge that is applicable to relationships. However, there are certain moments, at which they seem to loose when compared to The Theory of Interest. This finding is not a result of well-formed sentences, Cold Reading [84]. It is a direct consequence of the math model that The Theory of Interest proposed. It took such degree of math, which we do not find among knowledge of psychiatrists and psychologists – with full respect to all exceptions.
There is a scientific progress, even as a statement is refuted.
