Read about The Theory of Interest first, if you've come here because of women. Otherwise, check the table of contents. Despite model scenarios, you can lose some illusions here.

Pokud jste tu kvůli ženám, přečtěte si, o čem Teorie zájmu vlastně je. Jinak zkuste rovnou obsah. Ač uvedené jsou modelové situace, nedivte se, když tu přijdete o iluze.

Inner Game aka Dating Myth no. 13  

Posted by SomeoneCZ in

Once upon a time, a man asks: what the inner game actually is? It is a concept used not only*, yet extensively by the Pickup seduction community and there is no plain answer to it, or a definition of it. Generally, there are two possible answers available:

  1. A description on how the inner game manifests in person's behavior – the so-called outer game. It is like staying calm, being self-confident, having relaxed body language, etc. whatever you desire to be. In this case, the manifestation of inner game is given explicitly.

    The catch is that you don't know whether a person has "a good inner game" for real, or if it is nothing more but a fake. The latter one is not Pickup, it is Social engineering – a real science.


  2. Alternatively, it is a description of rules on how to behave. For example, if you take some time to react to a disturbing situation, you appear as calm to the outside world. In this case, the manifestation of inner game is given implicitly.

    The catch is that you don't know whether a person has "a good inner game" for real, or if the person just follows some advices. The latter one is not Pickup, it is Psychology or Psychiatry – real sciences. Your parents and life experience are sources of such advices as well.

*For example, The Inner Game of Tennis book by Timothy Gallwey got out in 1974. It was a long time before Ross Jeffries and foundations of today's Pickup that advocates the concept of the inner game.

Having the inner game manifestation described explicitly, or implicitly, we still don't know what it actually is. However, we see that referring to a real sciences creates an illusion that the merit of the inner game is something known.

But wait, how do we know that the inner game is even possible, if we are given just the description of its manifestation? We do not know, we can only believe without evidence. A number of other principles cause the same manifestation. Anybody can fit something onto a vague term thanks to the Forer effect and subjective validation. Both are tricks used in a psychological manipulation.

Let me explain with a comparison to a real mental skill. May be, it won't be a pleasant flashback for everybody, but try to remember a written exam from math. By the way, it applies to grammar, history, etc. as well. A question number one: what is necessary to pass a written exam? Is it to understand the discipline? Not necessarily as you can cheat and dupe the teacher.

  1. Taking it explicitly, if you fake it by copying your desk-mate correct answers, you can pass the exam. The social engineering, a real science, wins. If you manifest "a good inner game" just by writing onto a paper, you will not win. Pickup loses.

  2. Taking it implicitly, if you learn the math theories (grammar rules, historical dates, etc.), you pass the exam. A real science wins. Otherwise, the inner game relies on a fluke that you will guess the correct answers out of a thin air – an intuition. This way, you will not pass the exam. Pickup loses.

One should note that it is possible to identify an optimal social interaction using math, so the math is not an irrelevant comparison here. The respective branch of math is called The Theory of Games.

Reviewing the evidence, I see the inner game as a pseudoscientific concept. Also, one should note a strong similarity with the scientific terms of mental health and mental hygiene. However, the difference against real science does not prevent the inner game from having a persuasive presentation and a number of believers. Rebranding of scientific achievements as (not only) Pickup's fruits contributes to the misunderstanding.

The point is: if you see a guy that is attractive to women, there is no need to assume some spiritual, pseudoscientific inner game. While such guy does not necessarily realize it, he derived some rules from his experience with women – intelligence. Also, we can assume that he took some advices from an external source – extelligence.

As you learn "inner game" and it works, your brain actually learns procedures and facts. As a result, you don't stand baffled before a woman any more. Yet, some people just tend to see some inner game instead of a rational explanation.

All that blisters is not gold – Shakespeare, 1597

Non teneas aurum totum quod splendet ut aurum – Alanus De Insulis, 1280


Picture: A poster to The Comebacks movie with a subtitle "Keep your eye on the ball".

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 4, 2010 at 12:34 PM and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

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