Read about The Theory of Interest first, if you've come here because of women. Otherwise, check the table of contents. Despite model scenarios, you can lose some illusions here.

Pokud jste tu kvůli ženám, přečtěte si, o čem Teorie zájmu vlastně je. Jinak zkuste rovnou obsah. Ač uvedené jsou modelové situace, nedivte se, když tu přijdete o iluze.

Dating Myths 11 and 12  

Posted by SomeoneCZ in

11. Law of Attraction

Well, there is a number of different laws of attraction. In this particular myth, let us take a look at the false belief that exposing of particular traits attracts opposite sex with the same traits. It means, be funny and you'll draw attention of another funny person. The same goes for look, smiling, kind hearting, opinions, education, etc.

People consider this so-called law as valid, because e.g. educated people draw attention of other educated people. For instance, university professor meets another university professor on a daily basis. But hey, do not forget the selective thinking. Because, you'll see a serious flaw in this law then. Tell me, does our fellow professor, e.g. on his way to his office, meet university professors only? No way.

Do robbed people run in the night through parks, while robbing other citizens? Who, presumably, robs there as well :-) As you can see, it really is a non-sense, nothing but a wishful thinking. Men, be glad this "law" does not hold. Otherwise, you would need to become women first in order to get yourselves at least one. And what would we do with so many lesbians, thereafter?

Okay, you may object that the law does not state that you will meet people with given traits only. So, let's get back to the professor thing. On a daily basis, he also meets other university stuff that does not have bachelor's degree at least. And do you know what is interesting about this? They meet other stuff without bachelor's degree as well as they meet professors. See? I've just changed input condition to the opposite and nothing has changed on the output.

Common interests are not the law of attraction. While common interests play a role in a relationship, the "law of attraction" does not hold.

12. Radiate Positive Energy

Think for a moment, what is this positive energy? As Albert Einstein proved, E=mc2. So, energy is a property of matter. Half of the mystery is solved. But, what about the positive?

Speaking strictly on behalf of physics, where energy rightfully belongs, positive and negative have no meaning, unless you define a system, in which they denote a direction of energy flow. Ever heard about vectors and gradients? For instance, (negative) energy emitted from sweating body goes away from the system – the body. And (positive) energy from Sun is absorbed by the body and triggers body's cooling mechanisms – sweating, i.e. (negative) energy flow. Altogether, we've just described a part of body's energy interaction with its environment. And it happened in accordance with valid laws of physics.

The trick is that positive, or negative, is given by the direction – i.e. the gradient. Thus, it is an oxymoron for any mass (human body including) to radiate, i.e. to emit, positive and negative energy simultaneously. Also, it is a total non-sense, within a given system, to say that one mass emits positive energy and that another mass emits negative energy simultaneously, while their gradients agree on emitting, or absorbing.

Okay, the previous paragraph might have been too theoretical for some readers. So, what about an example? In practice, mainly energy healers and some self-improvement gurus insist that one person radiates positive energy, while another radiates negative energy. And, some even claim that both variants are possible for a single body. Since every human body obeys the same laws of physics, their claims are false. At the moment, I have no positive words on what they commit in the name of energy.

In dating, the positive energy is nothing but a distorted physics. You can be sure that dating gurus, which speak about positive energy, have very little knowledge of physics. Moreover, you can assume they even have some serious shortcomings in the dating field as they use such vague and misleading terms instead of formulating precisely. Of course, the bad guys mislead you intentionally for a profit, possibly drawn from your wallet.

By the way, there is a phenomenon, called Casimir effect, when two plates are attracted together. Interestingly, negative energy is required for this to happen – i.e. to create the attractive force. So, you should, in fact, radiate negative energy:-) But such advice would not sell as good as positive radiation advices do.

To radiate positive energy, it usually means that you should think positively, smile at girls, be funny, etc. Sure, it helps, but alone it is guaranteed as much as the previously discussed law of attraction is.

Some myth-tellers leave out the word "positive". So, there is a number of therapies, courses and self-improvement procedures so that you can increase amount of energy to radiate. But wait a moment, why should I want to do that? As the law of attraction does not hold, it remains a mystery to me. Nevertheless, some people say it possible and profitable, and some people buy it.

The following paragraph does not cover the topic completely, yet it covers what you are being promised most of the time – significantly increased level of energy.

If you feel more energy, just because you smile more, then you are under a spell of some psychological effect. Because, if that would be a physical effect, it won't be so funny. As long as human body temperature is higher than environment's temperature, human body radiates energy in a form of a waste heat. To increase amount of radiated energy, it means to increase amount of the waste heat. It means that body temperature will be rising, because you are warming it up. As a direct effect, the body will try to cool itself by sweating. The trick is that sooner or later, this constant energy addition will overcome possibilities of the cooling mechanism. In such case, you will experience behavior change, spasm and finally, death. In medicine, it is called hyperthermia.

It's funny, how many "proven truths" fall apart once exposed to facts.

Picture: In Mel Brook's Young Frankestein movie, Gene Wilder as Dr. Frankestein, Peter Boyle as The Monster and Teri Garr as Inga. Notice Inga's attraction drawn by The Monster. Perhaps, The Monster radiates some positive energy from a lightning? :-)

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 2:49 PM and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

4 komentářů

Ad positive energy - its common that people not knowing how to entitle something make up a verbal approximation of some kind. In my opinion, this is how "positive energy" was originally used. You took something which was menat as -in my opinion- purely psychological thing and took it as physical equation. No wonder it doesnt work :)
Positive energy in my opinion resemble endorphines or dopamine levels in bloodstream. Depressed people are less attractive to others because they are probably having (possibly health) problems, are not satisfied with their lives, are not motivated to do anything (possibly to help you with your reproduction), etc. So in order to attract someone you must think possitively. This is common problem among those who cant attract anyone. So we have a circle - you are depressed by not having any date while you cant have a date because you are depressed. How to overcome this? Think possitively.
So in my opinion, it can be beneficial for you to be positive. At least it protects your ego from being destroyed by mistakes you make along the way to date.

July 20, 2010 at 9:14 AM

As you pointed out - in your opinion, it resembles endorphin or dopamine concentrations. In my opinion, I took it as physical energy. And how about opinion of third person? (see last paragraph of this comment) My point is that the discussed positive energy is given to us as a vague statement - see Forer effect. It can mislead people into thinking of several alternatives, instead of giving a precise definition. After all, do the gurus claim to be experts or not? If they are, I expect a precise definition.

By the way, AFAIK neither endorphin nor dopamine engages directly in adenosine-triphosphate conversion. Nor they serve as a fuel. They are both neurotransmitters. Taking it literally, such explanation of positive energy fails as well. Moreover, you would need to limit the concentrations, at least to avoid undesired behavior.

I agree that people use "positive energy" as an expression for "acting as if being in a good mood" (so I take your point with end. and dop.). Such acting is sometimes true, and sometimes it's a fake. If I would try hard, I could consider "positive energy" as energy being spent (thus, it is negative energy, actually) to "act as if being in a good mood". This leads to the equation approach I already chose. And, it fails for the reasons, which I gave in the myth explanation.

The criticized use of "positive energy" is a misleading term, right in a pseudoscience fashion. While it allows a guru to avoid "manipulatively sounding" instructions such as "fake a good mood to other people", it gives his clients a possibility to believe into an existence of some pseudoscientific energy (I conclude as I haven't seen any precise definition). Especially, I'm worried, when gurus phrase it like these:

I think we all agree that this energy is very real, even if we're not sure how to channel it - A Reiki principle?
When Life Energy is free flowing it is positive and constructive - De facto Orgon energy?
he is one of the most high-energy people I've ever met, and he get's laid like mad - What is high energy? Is it the one that overloads your thermal homeostasis?
But that's not all, it started with this sentence: I got a buddy of mine who's a cancer survivor. So, how far is this from promises of non-scientific healing (CAM)?

Even a good intention can do harm, when acting from ignorance of facts. So, I vote for drawing a line between positive thinking and between buying into a non-sense. As an appealing example, consider an epileptic child being "treated" with a positive energy instead of medical care (EBM). You may just wonder, what contributed to parents' belief into such non-sense.

I would say this: if a guy is depressed because of not having date, he should take positive thinking. With each rejection, he may learn something, thus getting closer to a date. This is proven (unless he is a total dumb).

So, let's be positive because of things, which do exists. Not because of some misleading, pseudoscientific terms which may possibly cause a collateral damage not only to our lives.

July 25, 2010 at 6:17 PM

I see the point. Yes, you are right about this.

July 25, 2010 at 6:41 PM

Thanks, actually we discussed myth no. 14 as well (not published yet).

July 26, 2010 at 6:46 PM

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